


Seasickness

by aceofclub



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Autistic Amity Blight, Bisexual Disaster Luz Noceda, Bisexual Luz Noceda, Eventual Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, F/F, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, Green (color), Lumity, My First Fanfic, Please Be Gentle I’m New Here, brown (color)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26471530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofclub/pseuds/aceofclub
Summary: Is it wrong to like brown so much? My parents tell me if I’d be green, everything would be perfect. But I’m not...
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 6
Kudos: 95





	Seasickness

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH hello! this is my first AO3 fic (that I’ve worked up the nerve to publish) and i hope you enjoy it. be gentle in the comments, i’m trying my best here :)  
> it’s a little long, sorry bout that.

For as long as I’ve known, I’ve loved the color brown. It reminded me of chocolate and stamping around in mud puddles and freedom. It’s a strange color to love, I know, but to me, brown things were safe. It was the color of beating the holy hell out of Hooty or a bruised Grugby ball , it was all over the walls in the Lone Witch, it was in Luz’s eyes. Brown meant everything was ok.

But the color I’ve hated the most was always green. Everyone I’ve ever known has told me how wonderful a color green could be. They’d insist, they’d say it was the color of plants and Willow and didn’t I just adore Willow. They’d tell me green means go, green means coordinated and perfect and nothing short. But, to me, green was seasickness. Green was the library on a wailing star night and a fully charged training wand, made for a witch who’s too weak to cast with her own hands. Green was a once-a-month treatment, a “purification”, as Mom called it, a scorching sensation creeping over as it dripped down over the brown roots. Green was supposed to be perfect, at least that’s what Mom told me, but even then I’d notice the brown sticking out.

Maybe that’s why I was crowned Grom Queen. At first I could hardly believe it, my name over the intercom, entrusted with the responsibility of keeping Hexside at bay. But it was easy to see why. Luz pulled me into her and all I could see was the brown in her hair hidden by the green in mine. They saw Green Amity, they saw a top student and she bore the family name, loud and proud and only associating with the best because she was a Blight. But if Grom messed with me the wrong way, they’d see Brown Amity. My weakness would be splattered all over the walls, my mask shattered to pieces on the tile floor, exposing the mess that I should’ve guarded better. My breath became shallow, and the walls were closing in on me, and suddenly everything became too much and I couldn’t focus past the eyes of Hexside on me. I ran.

“Amity? Amity, you must stay still. Good children don’t squabble.” Involuntarily, my heels dig into the floor. I’ve lost awareness of where I was going, but now that I could focus, I noticed I was in an empty gym. A voice echoed through the room. “Good children sit still and look me in the eye when I’m speaking.” My eyes flicker around, and the vision of the gym gets cloudy as I’m awashed by a memory. I try to get a good look around the place, but I notice two pairs of eyes rolling into view with every movement. A burning sensation starts under my skin.

“Dad? Dad, stop! That doesn’t feel right.” He gives me a strange look. Why was it so hard for them to understand that it was painful? His quizzical look turns into a threatening smile.

“Dear, you’re a strong witchling. You must act like one.”

The memory is interrupted by a rather babbly Luz. She’s rambling on about dancing and dresses and buttons and it nearly makes me laugh. But she’s too short of a witch. If my parents knew I’d been slipping back into my natural colors…  
The maw of the floor opens to reveal Grom’s chamber, and two shelves filled with weapons wall Luz in. “Huh. Medieval torture seems like a strange theme for Grom, but, hey-”

“They’re not for decoration.” I find myself speaking before I could stop myself. “This arena is where I’ll make my debut as Grom Queen.” I walk down as Luz’s eyes follow me. They’re brown pools, and brown meant I was ok, but never have I ever felt so threatened by it before.

“Riiight. So, why don’t you seem happy about it?” I watch my reflection against the sword I find myself fondling in my hands. There’s brown everywhere. But, this time, it isn’t good. It should be green, because green meant perfect and pristine and exactly what Mom and Dad wanted. A figure rumbles beneath the waxed wooden floor.

“That’s Grom. Short for Grometheus the Fearbringer.” I try to hide the tremors beginning to climb up my arms. What if Grom attacked right now? What if Luz had to see...no. “Every year, it tries to escape, and a student has to defeat it before it invades the town. Ever the optimist, Bump holds a party and calls it tradition. The worst part is that Grom can read minds and shapeshift into your worst fear..” I take a breath, still staring directly into the sword, and my eyes skit over to the reflection of my dyed hair. I was a Blight. I had to be green, I had to be perfect. And I couldn’t let this brown invade. “..and mine, is very embarrassing.”

“Well, why don’t you tell Bump you want out of this death match biz?” My heart jumps. A genius! The best I could do is get out of this. I’d be safe from the possibility of slipping up. My fear would be evaded. I slip in a “thank you” and leave, hoping to Titan that this would work. I thumb the door to Bump’s office, checking the halls just in case someone might be watching. But all I catch is Willow’s jaded figure in the room next to me.

Her glasses are as clear as crystal in the window. The glare of the sun slants off of it, to the side, but even with the blinding sun, anyone could see her thunderstorm eyes. Her sleeves run pink and she morphs into a younger Willow, and I begin to wonder if Grom is already in my head, because I hated this memory. Boscha promised to save me a seat at her lunch table, but all I could think about was Willow and the empty seat next to our favorite spot. She was alone there and the strings in my heart were reaching over but no, no, I had to be green. I never hated being a Blight more than that moment. Edric noticed something was wrong, and he came up to me with his classic “Mittens” introduction and I nearly screamed because it reminded me of willow and I didn’t want to see her weeping.

I try to shake the memory before walking into Bump’s, but the remnants of guilt stay with me. Grom has to be in my head by now. What else could explain the pain, the longing for brown in a world coated in green? Maybe reliving these memories was my worst fear. I wouldn’t be shocked.

“Miss Blight? How can I help you?” I jump at the sound of his voice, and I realize I’d been standing there for nearly three minutes lost in thought. Not a good look for a top student. I settle down in the mahogany chair in front of his desk.

“Principal Bump...I can’t be Grom queen.” His eyes go wide with shock, and immediately a pool of guilt begins boiling in my stomach. How exactly did I plan on explaining this? “It’s too much pressure for me, I-I’m sure maybe Boscha could take the role, or even…” I bite my lip at the suggestion of Willow. I couldn’t let my guard down, not even for a second. “S-Skara. They’ve been training pretty hard and-”

“Amity, I’m sorry, but unless you can find a replacement, you’re our Grom queen.” A shiver goes down my spine as he takes me by the shoulders. It was supposed to be comforting, but it was nothing short of unnerving. “We nominated you because we believe you are capable of taking down Grom. You’ve got that top student star for a reason, after all.” I try to take deep breaths, to let the tension subside, but my vision’s starting to blur again and suddenly Mom and Dad are in the room, standing just behind Bump. They smile wickedly, and suddenly their voices leak over Bumps, pouring down like static from an erratic TV. “You’re a Blight, one of Hexsides best. You’re a strong witchling, perfect for the job. We’re counting on you.” I feel my stomach lurch.

“Of course, Mr. Bump. T-thank you.” I clench my fists, smoothing over my uniform in hopes that he wouldn’t notice how tense I was beginning to get. He sends me off with a wave, and I take care not to slam the door behind me. My legs crumple under me like the Hell-o I had for lunch. I was screwed. Grom would show everyone who I really was beneath the emerald facade, and then the real nightmare would begin. I weakly raise a hand and draw a circle six feet from me. “Abomination, rise.” An awful smelling, festering figure erupts from the ground, eyes focused steadily on the hallway ahead, coated in slime. I begin to tremble. “Abomination, woods.”

Shortly after the library incident, i’ve retreated to the woods for comfort. The twins knew where I laid bare my secrets now. I couldn’t risk them stumbling upon any more. I let the abomination sweep me off of my feet, feeling its fairydust heart pound rapidly as it ran away from Hexside and into the woods. I close my eyes and try to forget, try to forget that my heart is brown but it’s supposed to be green, try to forget that I’m Grom queen and that the whole school was relying on me to keep their own personal hells at bay. It doesn’t feel real. None of it does. Maybe this is just a dream and in ten minutes it’ll all be over and I’ll be able to wake up. Maybe this was one of those crazy stories I liked to tell myself, just for the hell of it, just to open my mind to the possibilities and the endless list of outcomes. Maybe I was simply losing my mind. The abomination stops at a small spot in the forest, complete with a stump for sitting and maybe a few logs for a fire and coated in mud and moss. I wave the abomination off, and it collapses into the mud. I should be sitting on the stump, but I’m positive that if I don’t keep moving, I’ll drive myself into hysteria. I begin to pace.

Maybe there was a way to convince the audience to leave me alone when I do it? No. That was the highlight of Grom. They wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity to watch a fight. Besides, Skara had been talking for weeks about how excited she was to see Grom for the first time. She’d missed the past few Grom nights, and I wouldn’t want to screw up her first one. I wrap my fists in the fabric of my shirt as I try to suppress a fearful cackle. Maybe there was another fear I didn’t know I had that would pop up instead. Maybe Grom would take pity and recede into the darkness instead of putting up a fight. But how could I have a worse fear than this, when I already feel like I’m about to collapse? And, almost on cue, I nearly tripped. My heel got stuck in the mud. Ha. Today had to be the day. I feel my breathing speed up. What would I tell my parents? “Hey, mom and dad! I kinda made a fool of myself in front of everyone because Mittens here was too scared to be told ‘no’! Whoopsie daisy, hope your reputation won’t take too much damage!” And what would happen once they knew i had a brown heart, brown lungs, brown hair beneath this green little miss perfect picture? The air starts getting sticky and warm. No. No. I loved green. Green meant perfect and coordinated and not an embarrassment. Green meant I’d make my mom and dad happy. Brown was bad. Brown was Luz’s hair, and Luz got me into trouble. Brown was the color of the sand on the duel grounds at the Covention, where my teacher cheated because she’d known I’d be too weak. Brown was my hair and half-a-witch willow and the Manor and my hideaway with Ed and Em cradling the littered pages of my journal on the floor. Something loud begins to rustle in the woods. Titan, even this stump was brown and that was bad because I only ever come here when the ceiling’s collapsing. Even the leaves were lighter shades of brown, orange veins carved in its fabric. I struggle to pull my heel free. It won’t budge. I try to breathe as I sense how close I am to a full-blown meltdown, tears beginning to brim over my eyelids. Why couldn’t I like green? Why couldn’t I be perfect?

My thoughts are interrupted by a figure slamming into mine. My heel breaks free as I fall back first into the mud. My hands are soaked and I try to brush it off when I hear a paper crumple into an orb of light. Luz.

“Ohmigosh, Amity! I’m so sorry.” Before I knew it, her hand slipped under mine and I felt a yank towards her.

“And here I thought my day-hup!” I regain my foothold only to notice how close we are. Something static flutters through my chest, but all I can think about is Grom and seeing her face in that horrifying monster. “-couldn’t get any worse.”

“Did ya talk to Bump? Was it as terrifying as you imagined?” I feel a chuckle rise in my stomach. I wished facing Bump was my worst fear.

“He said no. I’m Grom queen, unless I can find a replacement.” Maybe Luz would..? No. The thought was ludicrous. “But who would want to switch with me?”

“I would.” What? I must’ve said that out loud, because her quizzical gaze turned into a confident smile. “Miss Amity Blight, I’ll do it. I’ll take your place and face Grom in the arena. I’ll be your fearless champion!” Something scuttles in the back of her hair. A massive spider. I consider telling her until it creeps out of my view, and onto her face. She croaks something inhuman and slams her face down onto the mud. “Fearless champion!”

I walked back from the woods alone that night. Green was nice. Green meant defeating Grom and earning the praise of the school. But brown? Brown was nicer. Brown was Luz and punch bowls and party hats. And I think I was starting to like it a little more.


End file.
